And The Beat Goes On……….(my personal musical)

Fear. Sadly, I know it all too well. I have come a long way, but I am always trying to be aware of the unwelcome fear creeping in.

I have learned that most of the fears I entertain are irrational, for me. Fear of worms, caterpillars and Dentist visits.

Fear of rejection is a bit bigger in my mind. Fear of not being heard or fear of being misunderstood is even bigger to me.

Scripture says that perfect love drives out fear – 1 John 4:18  New International Version
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

Ouch. I am more aware that if I fear then I am not walking in His perfect love. Oh how I want that. Always a work in progress. And I am really glad to be a work in progress.  That means I’m still alive and we’ve got work to do – Him and I. I love it. Even the “ouches” I love. It means fellowship with my God, my Friend who totally gets me and enjoys my company and I, His.

“No Longer Slaves” Bethel Music

You unravel me with a melody
You surround me with a song
Of deliverance from my enemies
‘Til all my fears are gone[2x]
I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God

From my mother’s womb
You have chosen me
Love has called my name
I’ve been born again
Into your family
Your blood flows through my veins

[4x]
I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God

I am surrounded
By the arms of the father
I am surrounded
By songs of deliverance

We’ve been liberated
From our bondage
We’re the sons and the daughters
Let us sing our freedom

You split the sea
So I could walk right through it
My fears were drowned in perfect love
You rescued me
And I could stand and sing
I am a child of God…

You split the sea
So I could walk right through it
You drowned my fears in perfect love
You rescued me
And I will stand and sing
I am a child of God

Yes, I am
I am a child of God
I am a child of God
Yes, I am
I am a child of God
Full of faith
Yes, I am a child of God
I am a child of God

[3x]
I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God

Cate B (also posted on www.churchsetfree.wordpress.com)

Life’s Journey – Music and All

A movie or a TV show without background music can be rather dry. The music score sets the mood.

My life’s journeys are usually accompanied with music. You can chuckle here. I would like to share with you a couple of songs that describe my journey the past seven years. Notice how different they are and how I have come through that last leg of my journey in what I would call “Victorious”. Enjoy!

Seven years ago today, Groundhog Day in the USA, February 2nd, 2009, my husband and I along with our Siberian Husky and Grumpy Cat, arrived in Kansas City, Missouri with all our earthly possessions. The first song was my theme song for the next few years:

“New Soul” – Yael Naim

I’m a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take
But since I came here
Felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la…

I’m a young soul in this very strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout what is true and fake
But why all this hate?
Try to communicate
Finding trust and love is not always easy to make

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la…

This is a happy end
Cause’ you don’t understand
Everything you have done
Why’s everything so wrong

This is a happy end
Come and give me your hand
I’ll take you far away

I’m a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take
But since I came here
Felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la…

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la….

Now, after moving an hour southeast of KCMO, my theme song has changed to this:
“Home” – Phillip Phillips

Hold on to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave (wave) is stringing us along

Just know you’re not alone
‘Cause I’m gonna make this place your home

Settle down, it’ll all be clear
Don’t pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble—it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you’re not alone
‘Cause I’m gonna make this place your home

Ooo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo. Oo-oo-oo-oo [2x]
Aaa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa. Aa-aa-aa-aaaaaa [4x]

Settle down, it’ll all be clear
Don’t pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you’re not alone
‘Cause I’m gonna make this place your home

(Come on!)

Ooo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo. Ao-oo-oo-oo [4x]
Aaa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa. Aa-aa-aa-aaaaaa [4x]

And there you have my past seven years in a nutshell.  Life is good.  God is better. Enjoy the music videos …….
Cate B

Writing Again, Writing Still

It’s been almost a year since I last posted on the topic of writing .  My goals, etc.  The book I started and started again and thought I finished……..almost.

Sigh.  I cannot compare myself to others.  That is unwise – even the bible tells us that.

But I do it anyway until I catch myself.  So many of my peers write on their blog often.  Sometimes several times a day.  Me? Oh, perhaps once a week or two.  Good grief.  I guess there are no tight rules on this but I may be forgotten if I don’t write something!

I decided to wrap up a booklet I wanted to  publish.  Good time to do it – now.  So I progressed rapidly this week.  Even asked two authors I know to write an endorsement for the front.  Sigh, again.  After I sent the “manuscript” out to a friend to read first, I realized that the requirements of the publisher was to have at least fifty pages.  WHAT?!?!?!  I have just over half that.

Time for fetal position.  I dread going back in and adding to what I thought was alright.  Ugh.  Double ugh.

I do believe I can write.  But why such dread?  Why do I feel defeated before I even start?  I don’t normally write such gut revealing words on here – but this is how I feel today.

I know me enough to know that I will pick myself up and dust myself off and face this project.  Sooner, I hope, rather than later.

I am open for advice and encouragement – but not criticism.  I do not believe that criticizing artistic abilities is a thing.  We are all individuals with individual tastes.

Thank you for letting me spill to you……

:D Cate B

Refrigerator Magnets — and Acid Rain

This post by my Friend, Little Monk, speaks my heart. I think all who have a relationship with God should read and hear. It will set you free…..

Church Set Free

Bible spinePsalm 8

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

The Lord’s Glory and Man’s Dignity.

For the choir director; on the Gittith. A Psalm of David.

O Lord, our Lord,
How majestic is Your name in all the earth,
Who have displayed Your splendor above the heavens!
From the mouth of infants and nursing babes You have established strength
Because of Your adversaries,
To make the enemy and the revengeful cease.

When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, The moon and the stars, which You have ordained;
What is man that You take thought of him, And the son of man that You care for him?
Yet You have made him a little lower than God, And You crown him with glory and majesty!
You make him to rule over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his…

View original post 1,654 more words

Sit Down For A Cuppa

Welcome New Year – 2016.  Welcome Friends.

Come and sit with me and let me pour you a cup of coffee.  I didn’t make a double chocolate chai pie with real whipped cream for you today……perhaps next time.

Today, I have lovely slices of homemade bread.  Warm.  With butter and/or some local Amish Blackberry Jam.  Help your self.  Eat as much as you want.

As we sit here together let’s chat. I want to tell you how excited I am over the arrival of a new year. I’ve made no resolutions, never do, but I have decided to make my own bread as opposed to buying well-preserved breads in the stores.

I have also decided to get busy.  As some of your know, I care for my grand girls five days a week while my son and his wife attend University.  I’ve done this for about two plus years.  I would do it again in a heartbeat, but it has been a sacrifice in many ways. But I see no greater gift that I could give than to be a part of raising these girls. They have taught me so much and my heart has grown in love.

This year, I decided to write more.  Even help my husband to write the books he needs to along with the one I need to finish. I need to play my ukulele more often – it brings me such joy.

There are other creative and practical things I need to do that will come out along the way.  One thing I know is that I need to do the things that were planted in my heart to do by my best Friend, Jesus.

You see, Life is short.  We’ve all heard that before. But we truly do not know our days. I’ve said goodbye to a dear friend just after Thanksgiving.  I see the news rattling off numbers of deaths in various world events.  All ages.  The anniversary of the loss of our dear daughter is coming up.  You can’t help but reflect on your own life.  The things I’ve put off and just refused to do.  The dreams that I have forgotten.

Here, have another slice of bread and a warm up your coffee……

You see, some dreams may change over the years or even be put on a shelf for a while. Some may be lost on the shelves or in a box in the attack or basement. How about we take them down and dust them off.  How about we search out those that were lost and thought forgotten.

Let’s take them and sit with our God and our friends who believe in us and look them over, shine them up, tweak them here and there and most of all…… Pursue them!   Yes.  Let’s do it.

And that is what my new year is looking like. Pursuit.  How about yours?  Those dreams and ideas are still there.  Those ideas for a business are still there.  Find friends who only encourage and love you enough to help you go forward. Find others who need your encouragement and help in finding and going for their dreams.

I’m cheering for you. Maybe next time I will make that chocolate chai pie for you.

Thanks for stopping by.  In case you want it, here is the bread recipe:

I mixed mine in a Kitchen Aid mixer with dough hook.

Multi-Grain Bread

1 pkg. active dry yeast – or 2 1/4 tsp active dry yeast

1/4 cup warm water

1/2 cup butter – cut up

1/4 cup organic raw cane sugar

1/4 cup Molasses

2 tsp. salt

2 cups boiling water

2 cups Whole Wheat Flour – 1 cup Cornmeal – 1 cup Oats

Enough Unbleached Flour to make a sticky dough – approx. 4 cups

Dissolve yeast in 1/4 cup warm water.

In a smaller bowl I put the butter, sugar, molasses and salt with the boiling water.  Let butter melt and let it cool down so as not to be too hot for the yeast.  I test that by holding my finger in it for a few seconds – if I have to yank my finger out then it is too hot.

Add liquid to yeast along with the WW Flour, cornmeal and oats.  Then mix in White Flour and use that dough hook until all is incorporated.  A good 3-4 minutes of mixing is good.  If dough is too sticky – meaning you cannot pick it up in one ball – then slowly beat in more white flour until right consistency.

Put dough in a lightly oiled bowl and cover with a clean cloth for about 1 and 1/2 hours.

Punch dough down and form into any shapes you like.  Pace on greased baking sheet or greased loaf pans. I chose this:

1003243_10153131639452820_3797718183456318986_n I cut slices in them with kitchen shears.

Cover these with the cloth again and let rise for about 40-45 minutes.

Bake  in a preheated 350 degree F oven for about 40-50 minutes.  Cool out of the pan and you better cut an end off while hot and smother it with butter and eat it!

12400506_10153131639472820_6126526402291979353_n

Enjoy!

Cate B

TaDa! A New Year!

Here we go.  Another year is ending and a new one beginning.  Do you like that or dislike that?

I always like it.  Even though I feel old and my life is flying by, I still welcome a New Year.  I like the idea of changes to come and new adventures and old ones closing, perhaps.

I have very little idea of what is to come for Cate B.  I will still be caring for my lovely grand-girls this New Year.  But those days are numbered.  Last year at this time I was dreading the girl watching to end and them moving on.  I was ready to pack up and run with them dragging husband and dogs with me.  But now, a year later I feel  differently.

I feel that I should start dreaming again.  Dreaming of things that I desire and that the Lord has instilled in me long ago.  It’s still a bit fuzzy and foggy.  I do believe the fog will lift and I will see again.

Sometimes I visualize a tug o’ war going on in my spirit.  Little lies of “you’re too old” against great truths of “you’re never too old”.  I am on the side of truth, even though, somedays it is a battle to believe.  Especially when you say goodbye to a friend who died too young and you see headlines the day after Christmas of deadly storms sweeping the nation.

One of my favorite verses in the bible that tells of great advice for all is:

Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious – the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.”

I want to be worked into God’s most excellent harmonies!  There’s  a dream for the New Year and my life!  I think I’ll start there.

So here goes, Dear Readers, may these last few days of the old year be joyful and fulfilling for you and even more, may the New Year greet you with more Joy and Dreams coming to pass.  May you be able to choose the truth and dwell on it. And may you be found in His most excellent harmony!

And because I cannot resist silliness………….       10530886_797526963601794_8208936784582723757_n

Enjoy!

Cate B

Sweetness

There is a sweetness in the air this time of year.  No, it’s not all the sugar that we use in baking all those yummy Christmas cookies and Holiday treats.  I don’t know, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside and can sense the sweetness that accompanies that.

Too sappy?  As I sat down to write a post, list of ideas before me, I decided to change direction.  I decided to sit a moment and just look into my heart and see how I feel.

As a “church goer” for many years, “feelings” seem to be put on the back burner by some.  I have actually heard many a sermon instructing Christians that feelings are not something to base your actions on.  Say, “I believe”, rather than, “I feel”.

Say what???  Being a person that feels the presence of God and feels how others are doing, etc., that just goes against who I am.  I could study the Bible till the cows come home and walk away with very little memorizing of scripture but my heart is full of it’s meaning.

I love that about me.  I love that others are more theological and logical.  After all, isn’t God that way?  BOTH ways?  How can I be who I am not?

I tried that growing up.  A right-brained child in a left brained house – so to speak.  We were given a lot of creative things to do but had to create a certain way.  Explain that to the God who created armadillos or stripped horses – aka zebras.

I’m being silly in some ways.  But it is just fine and dandy to use your emotions. They are real.  So, back to my opening line…..

I feel a sweetness in the air today.  A cozy comfy feeling and I love it.  Could be Christmas or Holiday Season or just the love of Holy Spirit surrounding me.

Can you feel it?  Here’s a fun one for you…..

Enjoy!

Cate B