I am side tracking from my mini-series of summer time memories – even though I have only posted one post on summer – I will continue later today or tomorrow.
But a new thing has popped up in my life. Please know that I am in no way mocking or taking phobias lightly . Not at all. I am simply making a humorous attempt to laugh at my self, and I do laugh at me only.
We live in Missouri. We have lived here only a little over five years. Prior to that, the forty years my husband and I have been married, we have lived in coastal states.
Here is a little how my mind works……..
In coastal states there are obvious land boundaries. On the west coast we have the Pacific Ocean and the mountains. I felt secure, so to speak. Actually, I never felt afraid to go far because it wasn’t an issue. All was secure. By “it wasn’t an issue” I mean it never entered my head that there was a boundary of any kind.
Same on the east coast. We had the Atlantic Ocean (sometimes in our backyard, literally) and it was fine.
Well, you take a coastal girl and put her in the middle and a strange thing can happen……. there is nothing but land in all four directions. We won’t hit a wall of mountains until we get across Kansas. Kansas is vast (in my head). It’s so Oz-like. I haven’t even been to Oklahoma where the wind goes sweeping down the plain!
In this area of Missouri we have a road appropriately named, “State Line Road”. Why? On one side is Missouri and on the other is Kansas. In one given outing it is not uncommon to cross the border of the states a number of times. No problem. It makes it fun to shop.
So, back to my new realized phobia. We went to a wedding and the reception was in a park in Kansas. No biggie, like I just said, it is easy and normal to go across state lines here. Well, as we headed further west on the interstate, I got a little nervous. I kept asking my husband, “How far into Kansas are we going?!?” He said just a little ways. I saw familiar town names and relaxed because I knew they were close by the border. Then I saw things like metal silhouettes of bison and Native Americans and wagon trains, and The Oregon Trail signs……. again, “How far into Kanas are we going?!?”
I realized then that I had an irrational fear of the vast open plains. Please note – there are no vast open plains on the border of Missouri and Kansas. Not the Kansas City area anyway! That is the irrational part. Hahaha. I was a bit un-nerved over this trip. It came to me that I really felt very insecure going out into the wilds of the west. Dang! That may put a damper on my desire to see Oklahoma! Where the wind comes sweeping down the plain. **please note: we have driven across our entire nation at least six times and I was fine – but we had a destination!
I was telling my son about this and he totally understood. Since we came from coastal areas it seemed normal for us to feel a bit insecure. I think we all, unknowingly, make boundaries in our minds. Boundaries of insecurity. Boundaries of security. I think it’s pretty normal. It’s what I do with it that can become the real problem. Most fears are irrational (I am not a professional – just an older lady who thinks a lot). Now, if I was running for my life from terrorists with Jack Bauer – well, we all know that would be a rational fear of mega proportions ( older lady with too much time to think).
I know phobias are very real to people. I had a period in my life where it was real. Thankfully, I did overcome that fear with a lot of prayer and help from friends and my relationship with God. After all, we are just little people in a very big world.
Have fun with this post – I did. You can laugh at me – especially you mid-westerners who do not understand how weird it is to live here when we are not from here – lighten up on us transplants!
Here is a pic of how vast the wilds of Kansas can look:
I WILL go to Oklahoma! And I will take pics and write a post about it. I may even sing the song! For your enjoyment I am sharing a youtube video of Hugh Jackman starring in the musical Oklahoma! Obviously his pre-Wolverine days. I’m impressed and did giggle.