I chose to be a stay-at-home mom many years ago. I have never regretted that decision. I loved it. Yes, there are sacrifices. Yes, there is less money to live on. And yes, creativity comes to play in more ways than you can imagine.
I feel that my children benefited from this decision. Would they have benefited as much if I chose a career also? YES – I believe so. Because mothering and fathering is in the heart first of all.
I use to wonder, when I was a very young mother, why women I knew wanted to go to work and leave the kids in another’s care. I quickly got over that. I realized, as I watched and listened to them, that some of us humans are bent a different way. It doesn’t mean they are less of a parent. I honor their decisions.
Some parents have no choice. I honor them also. And yes, some perhaps need to get their act together and their priorities straight. But they still love their children.
I find myself, in this time of life, caring for young children again. I’ve talked about this is previous posts. I wouldn’t have it any other way. After raising my kids – and I did have small jobs now and then as they got older – I went full time into the work force. It was an amazing experience. It was a position that I knew nothing about and yet was able to tap deep inside me and see that I could do it!
So, why is the job that women were created to do, physically and emotionally, still so scrutinized in this world today? Why do so many women feel that “just being a mom” isn’t enough? Why do mom’s, and probably dad’s who care for the kids, feel they are a bit useless? Perhaps not intelligent enough for career minded people? Simply, why is mothering so looked down upon?
Do you know how hard it is to convince a tiny human being that “they are kind, they smart, they are important”? Quote taken from The Help. It’s a constant battle. It takes just a few minutes to tell “Siri” what to say and what to do in comparison to telling a baby, then a child, then a pre-teen, then a teen, then a young adult…. and so on. We are constantly facing things we cannot control that knock us down. Lies are always coming against us. Sometimes from actual people and sometimes in our heads. Programming a computor is that – it is done. But loving a human through the stages of life – is just that. Life long.
Then the same question – why is parenthood so looked down upon? Why is it such a struggle to feel you are doing something amazing?
You are. You parents, whether you are working outside the home or staying home with your kids, are amazing. You are doing an incredible thing. It never stops. It is continual.
You are doing a great thing! Do not let others tell you or imply otherwise. Do not second guess yourself.
You are amazing! Tell a parent today that they are amazing.
Enjoy!
cate b
Cate, as you know, parenting never stops once it starts. Parenting, grand parenting, and now great grand parenting. Wow!!! But it is fun as well, most of the time. Lol 😀
yes, most of the time!
Can’t leave this out and be truthful, anyway. Lol
Oh yeah. I’ve had many headaches and heartaches to different degrees. But hey, love hurts.
It does. I know with so many. I could say a lot more but there’s no need. You know. Have a great rest of your day in Mo. I’m heading for the west coast tomorrow. From sea to shining sea.
Have a great trip. 😀
Thanks!
Very inspiring Cate! For the longest time I have always felt guilty about being a working mom. All I want is to housewife and mother to my kids full time and I am working on getting there even if everybody seems to think it’s a crazy idea.
I never think that is a crazy idea. I will pray you get their faster. 😀
Cate, this is such a great post and so very very true! I’m going to share it with another blogger on here because it reminds me so much of the posts she writes. She will love this. (Am so green at blogging, I’m not sure if this is called reblogging or not since I’m not actually posting it on my website. In any case….I’m sharing it down the line!)
Thank you so much. I don’t know the terms either. 🙂
You make me feel so much better!
Hahaha.
excellent article (typically you, and that’s a “good” thing )! once again, you nailed it, every feeling i’ve ever felt about the subject came from your lips expressing my heart too…
you are surely a fore runner for all of us who can’t express ourselves 😉
love your posts, always have, always will…keep rockin’ it out mama, as you do so well… ❤
you're a good vibe for those around you…you always keep it real…that's what everyone loves about you, it's your heart…
bravo, my friend 🙂
You are such a great encouragement. Thank you. ❤
gee thanks…but you really are 😉
And YOU are amazing too!
Thank you so much. ❤
“A Prompt Reply” shared your post here with me. I cannot thank her enough for doing so, or thank you enough for sharing this. I am a SAHM in the thick of things with a 3 and 1 1/2 year old. I would not trade what I do with them for all the world. Your writing though, has brought me so much encouragement. To hear it from a seasoned, “Been there/done that” mom is exactly what I needed. LOVE!!!
Thank you Sasha! I’m so glad to meet you and looking forward to getting to know you. :). I care for grand daughters 3 and almost 1. I hear Ya!
That’s a great post. I love it.
I’m playing with the idea at the moment that I should leave work (I work only while kids are at school) and take up graduate study. Because I WANT TO. Isn’t the house happier when the mama bear is happy? I love parenting but I feel guilty if I’m not working or doing something productive during the day – see I’m even guilty of saying being a mum is not enough! Which is not to say that’s what I think or that I did nothing when I wasn’t in paid employment. I have four school age children, there is ALWAYS something that needs doing!
Abbie – there is that guilt thing and you (me) not feeling productive – but you being happy is productive and even more your children – can’t invest enough into them.
Ultimately you have to make the decision. I think there is no wrong one – it’s an “inside job”, so to speak.
Wishing you well…..
cate b 😀
I do think being happy is SO important. Not just carrying on with the status quo because it pays the bills or because anything else seems too hard. I know I could manage study successfully and so be there for the kids so it is very tempting (and quite exciting just quietly!).
LOL. I love exciting!
Thank you for this loving, balanced, wise post. It was just what I needed to read this morning. Since I started leading Music Together classes a year ago, I have been interacting with many parents of young children (as well as some grandparents and au pairs, too). Your words are a great reminder to me about some of the thoughts and feelings which might be going through their hearts and minds. I have also been working on a show called “Songs About Parents and Children” with a wonderful pianist. Last week we were exploring a song written by Craig Carnelia called “Just A Housewife” (written for a musical called WORKING, I believe) which your post immediately reminded me of…If we record a decent version of it I might share it on my blog. And I am sure there are many versions of it on YouTube if you are curious to hear it.
Will – thank you so much. You are very encouraging. I will look up that song – I am intrigued. (and would love to hear yours also)
Blessings to you and your work with parents and child care givers. And with MUSIC! What a great combination. 😀
God bless,
cate b
Cate – YOU are amazing! You’ve caused some thought and inspiration today and we all need more of that – so thanks for being you. Really, no matter who’s life “other people” look at, most will find something to criticize, no problem. Someone else’s opinion of me is none of my business, right? It only demonstrates THEIR platform they look out from. Speaking to Parenting/Mom’s- they rock this world. I was never brave enough to have kids as it was such an amazing, never-ending, constantly demanding job that I couldn’t “clock-out” from, so decided against it. My deepest respect goes to those that did see that and step up to the plate. (only to have to wash and re-fill it a thousand times…:) have a great weekend! mikey
Thank you so much Mikey! You are a great encourager and cheer leader for parents!
Thank you, thank you.
Hope to see you again.
😀 cate
Well Cate– this got a lot of impassioned responses!! I agree with you all the way– I stayed home with kids for many years– and when they were mostly grown went back to teaching– but being a mom is my true vocation. Loved it then and in a different way now that they kids are grown and there are the grand-girls.
😀 ❤
I love this! This has always been one of my pet peeves…being made to feel like a nit-wit for wanting to stay home with my children. Now that they are grown, I don’t regret a single minute! Nurturing is what we were created for! Thank you for the encouragement!
Nora
Thank YOU for your encouragement. 🙂
Isn’t it grand to have done and contunue to do what we were created for?
Thank you Nora for coming by. Hope to see you again.
cate