……. before it breaks my heart.
Love is a funny thing. It’s something we all want and need. But it is also something we tend to run away from.
We’ve all seen others do it or have done it ourselves. Just when the love is being poured out on you, you want to run away from it. We start laying brick upon brick faster than The Flash himself! Then we stop. We hesitate, with the next brick still in hand. Isn’t this the love I’ve been waiting for and longing for?
Drop that brick! Stop resisting love. I’m not talking about desires and one night stands or even about the guy or girl that may not stick around. I’m talking about true love. Love that accepts us the way we are – baggage and all. Love that we pour out on someone – with their baggage and all. Sacrificial love.
Sacrificial love. It comes it many shapes and sizes. Currently mine is for the two little girls that I care for. The daughters of my youngest child. Is caring for them inconvenient – yes – not all the time. Is it hard physically – sometimes. Am I tired – yes. Could I be doing something else for myself and maybe even making money doing it – yes.
But that love. That look from their eyes into yours. It goes very deep into my heart. It is a love I have longed for and a love I have longed to give. That love they dish out on you even though you are way older. It’s a love that they feel secure in when mom and dad drop them off. They feel safe, they feel at home.
I’ve had thoughts lately of when the kids graduate from the university and find jobs, who knows where, and they will move and begin a new chapter. Where do I and my husband fit in? I’ve even thought of hardening my heart, laying brick after brick to my wall that is ever so tempting to build,,,,,, why? So I won’t get hurt when they say goodbye. So my heart does’t break in a million pieces when they don’t need me anymore.
Then, like the slowly rising of the sunlight on my window, I realize I can’t live without the love they give me and the love I have for them. So, we will do our best to follow them and care for them until…. until …. until they have to care for us – Hahahaha.
I’m saying this because the love I have for the grand girls, and for the grand boys we had to leave back east, is stronger and ever growing. I never want to build the wall of protection over my heart because, no matter how convincing we are in our heads, that heart wants the love. And with great love can come great hurt, BUT when we surrender to love it comes around to great love again. Love doesn’t go away. Love works to heal, to stand, to hold and to continue. Love never fails. Love is truth.
And, Dear Readers, love originated in God. His heart is so big and so loving and so merciful. He has taught me to lay down the bricks and let His love come to me. And that is how, and only how I can give true love to my self, my husband and my kids and their kids and to friends and strangers. And most of all the only way I can love my God.
Let Love in today and everyday.
Enjoy!
cate b
Let's Have Another Piece of Pie 
beautiful post…right from the heart, into our laps…shaking the comfy position we sometimes are in and never want to leave…hehehe…
you nailed it once again…wtg and yeah, keep on lovin’ in spite of how much it hurts…difficult task, but well worth the pain… 🙂
Thank you once again for your great encouragement, Friend.
You hit the nail on the head! Felt your words in my heart! Love you Cate!
Thank you Signa! You are a great friend. 😀
What a magnificent post Cate! Simply magnificent!! Thank you!!
Thank YOU Dear Friend.
I am relating so very deeply with this post. I have been known to completely wear myself out loving on grandbabies while Momma works. It’s hard, and sometimes taxing, but SO WORTH IT. I can’t imagine knowing someone else getting the honor and blessing of my coveted grandbaby hugs and kisses. I think God feels the same way, when he sees the affection we give to anyone besides him, don’t you? I never really understood how God is a jealous God until I had kids and grands.
Great post. Thank you.
Lyn
Thank you so much for your encouragement – and what you said about imagining someone else getting the hugs and kisses from our babes. Yikes. We are blessed. So many of my friends are not able to have what I have and want it. We are truly blessed.
What a beautiful post. It seems all that time of reflection has brought you to a better place in understanding exactly what’s important to you and where you want to redouble your efforts. I’m so glad for you and for those grandbabies, both near and far from you. A good reminder for us all to tear down those walls and that physical distance doesn’t mean you have left the room! 🙂
Well said Torrie – to tear down those walls and that physical distance doesn’t mean you have left the room. Thank you for reading. 😀
so beautiful – raw – heartfelt. Lovely, Cate!
Thank you so much Jodi. 🙂
Beautifully said.
Thank you 🙂
Cate you are so much like my mom!!! She came all the way to Cebu from our home town so she can be near and and now she is with my sister (still within Cebu) So she can help her since she has a new baby. She has always been a nurturer ever since. A lot like you!!!
Thank you Jhanis! Those are truly the sweetest words. God bless your mom! It’s the fun part now…..
Beautiful post, thank you. It lifted my spirit this morning.
Aw. Thank YOU. 😀
Hey Cate!
Your post reminded me of the era when my own daughter was very small… growing and learning like a weed… and I found myself feeling a bit sad about that. Pleased for her development, of course… but sad because I was so enjoying THIS… that I almost did want it to end. I didn’t want her to get to being a “snotty kid” or an “arrogant teen” and all that. I wanted to preserve her in aspic just as she was.
I shared those feelings, in confidence, to my wisest godly friend… himself a father of two glorious daughters…
Without judging, just very quietly, he said, “You know, Little Monk. I’ve found a strange thing as the girls are growing up. I love each stage we’re in, just as you do. But every time they move on to the next, I find it’s even more fun than the last. This just keeps getting better and better. So, maybe it will help not to grieve the loss of this, so much as to enjoy it and look forward to what’s coming next? Just a thought…”
And he was so right. Those “girls” are now 40-ish, (as my daughter nears 30)… and he (a published author) had the joy of helping his granddaughter edit her first published book (on Amazon, written when she was 14) as her brother went off to college at 16.
I don’t get to see my grands as often as I’d like, but my daughter and son (in law) are among my best friends. I suspect all that, too, will just keep getting better.
I dunno… this approach helped me a lot… thought I’d pass the ideas along.
Grace — LM
Thank you LM – being a part of my kids lives and their kids is amazing. And yes, each stage is awesome – even though we had some rough teenage years with a couple of them…… it was good and the memories are great.
And now, as adults, they are true sons and friends to us and they have actually confessed of the torture they did to each other when they were kids —- LOL good laughs.
God bless you, blogging friend. 😀