As most of my readers know, I am in a season of life where I care for two of my grandchildren while their parents attend full-time University. It has been an incredible journey for myself and my husband. We are learning to be loved and to love on a whole new level.
Human Nature. Sigh………
We are all born into this world with a mind that is so ready to learn. When I began giving birth to my own babies and found myself in an unfamiliar life setting I read, I talked, I observed and I listened to what others were doing and not doing with their children. As parents I think we find ourselves in a life full of busyness and just plain old work! Keeping the house work up to the best of our abilities, changing diapers, feeding our babes and spending loving moments with them. AND, don’t forget, longing for sleep and time to ourselves and with our spouses. Our whole world changed – hopefully to the better. Mine did. As a matter of fact, we tend to spend so much time tending to the babes physical needs (and that is VERY important) that we wonder if we are fulfilling their other needs that lead them to become the amazing human beings they are meant to become. We don’t always feel that we are making a difference, do we?
Does that make sense? I do believe they take in a lot by observing us and how we treat them and others. Example is nine tenth’s of the law – is that how it goes? Whatever……
But what about that human nature? I do believe that babies come into this world with a need to be loved and held and comforted. They have a need to be fed and cared for…… Feed Me! Sometimes my human nature takes over and doesn’t want to love them right now – I don’t want to hold you, I just want you to sleep so I can sleep…….. Know the feeling?
Well, as a grandparent, I can tell you that it’s a whole new ball game. It is not my responsibility to be their parents. It’s a new freedom to be able to love on them and comfort them and spoil them to some degree and then send them home. Since I have them five days a week, and most of the day, I, of course, change the diapers, take to the potty, wipe the snot, etc. BUT, I also have a different perspective than when I was the mommy. I get to see things about children I didn’t have the time for when I raised mine. It’s amazing. Well worth the wait for this time in life.
But back to that Human Nature. We teach them to love and be kind, and we better, because in each of us is this uncanny ability to be mean. There, I said it. I sat here and watched as the little one (one and half years old) approached the bigger one (almost four years) and wanted what Sissy had. Thankfully, Sissy is kind, most of the time, to little sister. When Sissy wouldn’t give in to little one, the little one became a human piranha – her mouth flew open and she came at her sister with the intention to bite. And bite she did! Other sibling confrontations have been pushing, knocking little one over, etc. All normal behavior as far as I’m concerned. Usually they work it out among themselves or parental – type intervention comes in with time-outs and good talks.
Have you ever wondered this – we teach them to love and be kind and to help each other, etc. But how did they learn to bite? How did they learn to want what the others have? They seem to pick up on all the selfish traits and desires much sooner than they do the love and kindness and sharing. It is born in us. Baby, you were born this way……..
So, that being said, what is our “job” as parents, grandparents? I see it as a very serious and high calling. Guess what peeps? These little ones have come into our charge, whether we were expecting them to come or they were a total surprise. And these very little ones will be the people who are in our government offices or businesses or neighbors when they grow into adulthood. These very little ones are the future of our world. This is serious stuff. Don’t ignore them. Feed them with love and kindness and giving hearts. Listen to them. Get to know them. Each little babe is an individual human being with a built in personality and gifts that we, as parents, need to discover and nurture them into the adult they were meant to be. There is no one solution for every human being.
A particularly favorite Proverb of mine is: English Standard Version
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
This isn’t easy. It takes some serious time with our babes to see who they are. It would have been much easier for me, as a parent, to have treated my four all the same. Even the same discipline techniques did not work on all four – I know, I tried.
So, Dear Parents and Caregivers, let’s do our best to know our children and raise them along that path. Then, when they grow and mature into adulthood we can look at them with love and pride. We can continue to cheer them on and we can rest assured they will do their best to make right decisions for themselves and others and this crazy world we live in.
Who could not love these………
After browsing through Google News and then reading some blogs I follow….
After seeing some negative posts with no hope – from the news mostly and few from fellow bloggers…..
I choose to think on things from a happier perspective. Here is a great song from an amazing singer/song writer from the past, Roger Miller. Two videos to share with you of the same song.
I hope these give you a smile on your face to start the weekend off right. And I do hope this song gets stuck in your head. That’s not a bad thing….
Well, here we are, at the very last several hours of 2014 – it is 10:33 AM as I write this.
It has been a year for me! My husband and I were living in another town. An area where we moved around a few times since February of 2009. Trying to find a place we felt safe and comfortable in. It was big city compared to where we lived on the east coast. Most of all we were trying to find another type of place to fit into. Jobs, people, organizations. Seemed that each time we got involved with something it either decided to leave the state or decided they didn’t really need us in the capacity we needed or desired with them.
Our two remaining single sons met their lovely ladies and both married while we were wandering there. We couldn’t be happier with these new daughters.
We gained a lovely grand-daughter in 2011, another in 2013 and a great grandson in this past November! Such joy!
Part of the wandering in our spirits involved me going to The Burg (where we presently live) four days a week to care for Lovely Lucy while her parents attended the local University full time.
Sweet Lucy. I love her with all my heart. They moved twice that summer and then into the University apartments – which really should be remodeled or something. It was a tough time for the then two-year-old. Moving and then parents both going to school. Daycare was not going to work – not a great place for insecurities. So, I, Uma, came down four days a week to love on her.
It was a tough year in some ways. Little sister was born in October. More insecurities for us all. I slept on a few different beds and longed for my own. But my heart grew more each day to stuff those two girls deep inside of me. I know my heart grew when I had my own kids. But when grandkids came along – my heart grew even bigger!
We knew we had to move to The Burg. We found a cute house to rent and started over again – again.
What a difference. Our grandson, from back east, came home with us last summer and spent about month with us. I missed him terribly when we moved to the mid-west. He spent two weeks in our old town and helped move us to The Burg, and spent a couple of weeks there. Such a treasured memory. I cried when he went home.
School began in August and the two wee lassies came to my house each day. What a difference! Not only was I sleeping in my own bed at night, but these girls went home each day to mom and dad and you could see the happiness in their every move. They feel our home is their second home.
Lu just spent the night last night and the maturity and security in her is astounding. Our Lord is so good. Kids need their routines and their family. Nothing wrong with daycare…..but they do need to be ready for it.
So here we are, in The Burg, and the new year looks promising. We have never felt so relaxed and at home since leaving the east. Why did it take so long? I look back and see a time of waiting, a time of preparing. We don’t always see it while we are in it. But once things begin to fall into place those times of waiting and wondering begin to fade away. They were important and necessary. I believe that all we do is for us to grow and become better. Not bitter. Better. To me, it is part of Hope. Hope is real.
As I enter this New Year I am excited for what my journey holds. I wish for you all to look at your life as a journey. It makes those tough times a bit easier. It is all for us to grow as human beings, to be better humans. When things hit you, stop and look at them. You, at that very moment, have a choice. Will you choose to be better or bitter? Will you choose to glean all you can from the situations? It doesn’t always make it easier and rarely do the issues go away. Just choose to go through to the end. It will end.
Wishing you all a very Happy New Year – 2015 – may you prosper in all areas of your life!
I’ve mentioned before that I have a passion for seeing people progress into their destiny. For seeing their potential and hopefully I can encourage them to get there.
I am not a professional in that area. Heck, I don’t even know what to call it. It’s something that I can do.
Let me tie the title of this post and the paragraphs above, together. Bear with me on my thoughts here.
Today, I went to a function in our lovely town. It was a Christmas event where people dressed as characters from Dicken’s era. Some set up in shop windows weaving a basket or drinking tea, etc. Some were on the streets strolling around town. Some were singing Christmas Carols and some were carrying instruments to local businesses. There was a cart pulled by two horses that you could ride in around the town. There is to be a tree decoration and lighting in about an hour.
All great ideas but poorly attended. The very dreary weather and penetrating dampness could have been a factor. We went into the old courthouse building, mostly to get warm, but some students/faculty from University of Missouri encouraged us to go inside for a hot drink and cookies. We did, apprehensively. You see, our town is a University town. But not for University of Missouri. We have UCM – University of Central Missouri. We went in and I asked the people if they knew they were in Mules territory. We all laughed. I was secretly trying to scare them. No where did we see recruiting for our beloved UCM. Just a banner on the courthouse lawn. 🙂
Now, I know I’m new to town and I am still new to the way of thinking of the Mid-West. I admit that. But I just couldn’t help it, as I walked around I saw potential. I saw potential in the community, the locals, the ones not even connected to the University. I realize that towns in the midwest are likely not to be connected geographically – there are a lot of farms out there – like a vast ocean between towns. But The Burg is the county seat. I could see building up this type of event to the point where more people will want to come.
So now, where I’m really going with this. It got me thinking about my own life and potential. I think too small. I get ideas of things I can do or see others with their ideas and then I get discouraged. I actually talk myself out of those dreams and desires and ideas. They look too gigantic and just down-right impossible. But are they?
I do not see the whole picture. I do not see the hows and the whens. I give up way too easy. I think most of us do.
I also have a firm belief that my dreams and desires do not start with me. They start with the God that I put trust and faith and anchor my hoper in. But do I really believe that? I confess right now, that when I doubt and talk myself out of pursuing my desires and dreams, that I do not believe that they can happen. That’s not good. I’m my own worst enemy.
What makes me doubt? The delays mostly. I read an encouraging post today from a fellow blogger here: http://howleadersmanage.com/2014/12/06/go-the-extra-mile/
This part shined right out at me: “For the longer payment is withheld, the better for you. Compound interest is this law’s greatest benefit. While you wait consider it an investment in your character.”
Payment being what I dream and desire……my character is being greatly invested in.…. if I let that happen. We really need to stop looking at delays and discouragement as failures. Failures should be the very instrument that makes us succeed. We need to get a new perspective on our life. Many great people will tell you of their failings and how they were necessary. We do not see the whole picture of our life – we just don’t. But we can gain a new perspective. A higher view, so to speak. A God’s – eye – view.
I can do this. I can dream and I can slow down and gain new perspective. I can also encourage others that I see doubting and floundering around, on the verge of giving up. Let’s help ourselves to rise up to new heights and let’s help those around us. Every human being has potential to be great.
I’ll leave with this thought. From the movie, Saving Mr. Banks, the main character, PL Travers, handed her driver (Ralph) a piece of paper for his daughter (who was disabled). The paper had a list of names on one side:
Even with their deficiencies, these people succeeded to greatness.
Now Let’s go!