Always A Mom

I am a grandma five times now plus one great grandson. Not too bad. I love it. But I will always be a mom.

In the back corner of my mind I thought that once the kids grew into adulthood and had their own families going, when their careers and schooling and such were all in tact, well, I thought somewhere in the crevices of my brain that I would be done being a mom.

Silly, I know. Because I think I am more a mom now than ever. What I mean by a “mom” is that my heart is bigger and more soft and vulnerable than when I spent many hours feeding, cleaning, burping, guiding, etc.

Now I have more time to look at what my children have become and are still growing into who they are. I give myself and my husband a great big pat on the back for who these kids are. And who their kids are becoming.

But as I watch, I cry. I cry tears of joy and silly sadness. One of my boys and his lovely wife is moving to the UK in just a few weeks! The UK!!! I live in the USA!!!

The good things are……. they will be there for a year (could be longer, who knows?). The better thing is that this is a dream come true for our son and his wife…..an opportunity to study at the University of Edinburg!

The BEST thing is that my husband and I will take our dream trip this Christmas and spend two glorious weeks in Scotland and a bit of Ireland! I’m beside myself with excitement! The child rearing years have paid off.

Then why the sadness you ask? Just knowing they are not and hour and a half away makes me cry a little. I actually feel a little lost. I go through that with our oldest and his family being twenty hours away by car.

I’ll make it. I couldn’t be more proud of all my kids.

But being a mom is hard.

Cate B

Here is a “seed” a friend sent me… my first spending money:

Freedom

I have posted this quote before.  I decided to “bleed” a little today.  It’s been a while. I have felt a bit dry, much like the summer heat in The Middle.

My dryness comes more from fear rather than the weather.  I have an irrational fear of failing.  Failing at what? How can pouring my heart out on paper be a failure?

This post is for all you people (including myself) who think daily of writing and don’t because of the same fear I have.

How can it be wrong to share with the world your thoughts when we live in an age that is so easy to be heard??

We all have something to say. Somebody out there will be touched by our words, by our thoughts.

It is a great feeling to pour out in printed words. Even to pour out in photos or songs – or whatever form of bleeding you can. It is cleansing. Freeing. Vulnerable. Healing.

There. I feel better. Thanks for letting me bleed a little.

Cate B

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Love is the Key

This season of my life has been hard. I lost my best pup the beginning of November and then came to the close of semester as I wrapped up caring for our youngest grand daughter.

I was grieving. Big time. I had cared for our granddaughters for the most of the last five years of my life. I knew I wouldn’t do it forever but I had no idea how it would impact me.

I am relieved in many ways since I am a Grandma and not of childbearing age. But the loss was great to me. I actually fell onto a bit of depression and anxiety.

It would come and go and I would cry out to my God to take this from me.

Well, after a few days of intense cold and ice outside that caused us to stay indoors for the most part, I was a mess. Crying and sadness were overcoming me. I cried out to God again and the very day – yesterday – the sun (or shall I say Son ) shined bright in my heart.

We adopted a puppy. Whoever thinks animal therapy is nonsense is very wrong. It may not be for everyone but it is for me!

A friend of mine had an unexpected guest show up at her house in the fall. A pregnant dog who appeared to have had some abuse. Naturally she took her in and cared for her. The sweetest terrier mix with a great personality. She birthed the pups of many colors and I considered taking one when they were of the proper age.

Well, the sweet momma went and got ran over. So sad. She left about six or so pups orphaned but fortunately, they were eating puppy mash at that time.

Because of their orphan state I decided we would take one in a few weeks. I picked the one I wanted. I was still apprehensive until I received a text yesterday saying that there was concern about them being left alone all day in their ever energetic state of puppyhood. Can I take him now?

Of course! I jumped into action. Cleaned the crate and mopped the floors and sent the hubby to the store for puppy chow and replacement milk.

Funny thing is……… all my anxiety symptoms vanished. I came home yesterday evening with a sweet bundle of fur and puppy breath. He needed me.

But more than him needing me….. I needed him. My prayers were answered. Never underestimate the power of prayer. The answers come in many shapes and sizes. Mine came in a bundle of furry mutt that looks like he rolled in a few colors of paint.

I am so thankful. And now, without further adieu…… meet Teddy Roosevelt, the new brother of George Bailey……. Enjoy!

Cate B

The Simple Things – Around The Burg

I have always loved nature. The wildlife especially. I love to look at images from around the world and feast my eyes on creatures I’ve never see. I love the diversity in this beautiful world.

I watched a series on Netflix that took place in Scotland. It wasn’t a nature series but a drama with comedy interlaced within. In one of the episodes there were cattle. Beautiful, hairy cattle that were vastly different from your typical American cattle. I learned they were Highland Cattle.

Always loving most anything Scottish, I had to google to see if by some chance a rancher in the state of Missouri was raising these fine specimens. I found some not very close by and even in some surrounding states. I mentally put it on my list of road trips in the future.

image from a google search - Highland Cattle
image from a google search – Highland Cattle
image from a google search - Highland Cattle
image from a google search – Highland Cattle
image from a google search - Highland Cattle
image from a google search – Highland Cattle

One day, a couple of weeks ago when the weather was warmer and no ice or snow in sight, my husband and I took off on a local country drive. We ended up on a highway that took us back toward our main highway. Nothing but farmland. It was brown and beautiful.

All of a sudden we saw some cattle lying in their pasture just chilling’ and enjoying the winter sun. I remember seeing their hairdo between some hefty horns and remarked that they were not your common beef seen in these here parts.

We turned around. Missouri is fond of no shoulders on these country roads and only ditches. Fortunately, there were no other vehicles on the road so we stopped. I expressed to my husband that they could possible be Highland Cattle from the bonnie banks of Scotland. I quickly shot some images from my husbands iPhone.

I couldn’t stop thinking about those cattle. I just love Highland Cattle and wanted to see them in person! It just makes me happy beyond words to feast my eyes on creation. Could they be? I asked a friend who happens to be a cattle person…..and he knew immediately that they were the ones I was looking for! As a matter of fact, he told me that his neighbor has a few Highland Cattle and I could come take pics of them.

Well, as soon as the cold weather that is now full of ice passes I will be out there!

Am I the only one who gets excited over things like this? The little things in life that come at the right moment. I call them gifts. Little gifts from above that make my heart glad. The simple gifts in life that let me know there is someone who knows me more than I know me. That someone who watches over me and cares enough to lead us down a country road so I can see cattle!

Such love.

Missouri Highland Cattle
Missouri Highland Cattle

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Enjoy!

Cate B

Baking Time!

When the weather was still warm a dear friend dropped off several large and perfect peaches! I set aside a couple for immediate eating pleasure and then peeled and sliced the rest for the freezer and future smoothies and a pie.

Pie day came. I made a single crust and mixed chopped peaches and a few red raspberries with sugar and cinnamon and touch of cardamom. I’ll let the images tell the rest…….

Enjoy! CATE B

I Had a Hankerin’

I have recently changed my eating habits – to the better. It was and still is a major feat. But the results are awesome.

Today I was craving a taste of sweet. Sweetness that was more than an apple. More than jelly on toast. More than, well, you get the idea.

Since I have no laws in my new eating habit, other than to think before I eat and keep the carbs at a minimum, I have a cheat day now and then. Or a cheat moment.

I wanted a donut. So I grabbed the donut pan I use for baked donuts and whipped up a cinnamon batter with raw, organic sugar and a bit of rice flour in place of regular flour (I do love me some gluten). Popped those pups in the oven.

In the meantime, I melted a little butter on the stove so I could gently dip said donuts in the butter so the sugar-cinnamon mixture would stick nicely.

Little did I know that the butter stayed on the flame slightly more than I intended. BUT when I popped a donut hole in my mouth my tastebuds stood up and cheered. I had, unknowingly, browned the butter. The flavor had that hint of caramel goodness.

It’s a keeper!

Baked Donuts:

2 C Flour…. 3/4 C Sugar (I used raw)……. 2 tsp. BP…….some cinnamon

3/4 C buttermilk……. 2 eggs, beaten lightly……. 2 T melted butter

Sift dry ingredients, combine liquids and pour into dry until just combined.

Bake @ 400 degrees F for about 7-9′

cool 4′ and remove from pans. Cool and dip in butter and sugar-cinnamon mixture.

Eat!

Enjoy! Cate B

Baked Donuts

 

 

 

Wordsmith

I love the word wordsmith.  There are some words in the english language that I just enjoy saying and wordsmith is one of them.

I never thought I was one until I read the Merriam-Webster Dictionary definition:

Definition of wordsmith

  1. :  a person who works with wordsespecially  :  a skillful writer

wordsmithery

play \-ˌsmi-thə-rē\noun

This word was first used in 1873 – a little word trivia for you.
A person who works with words…… I do that.
A skillful writer…….well, I like to think so.
Now that I’ve had a major transformation of my schedule and what I do in life I hope to become a better and more frequent…….. wait for it……… Wordsmith.
That just rolled off my tongue and through my fingers to you.
Have a great and wonder New Year Dear Readers!
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Enjoy!
Cate B