Tag: kids

Stop In The Name Of Love…….

……. before it breaks my heart.

Love is a funny thing.  It’s something we all want and need.  But it is also something we tend to run away from.

We’ve all seen others do it or have done it ourselves.  Just when the love is being poured out on you, you want to run away from it.  We start laying brick upon brick faster than The Flash himself!  Then we stop.  We hesitate, with the next brick still in hand.  Isn’t this the love I’ve been waiting for and longing for?

Drop that brick!  Stop resisting love.  I’m not talking about desires and one night stands or even about the guy or girl that may not stick around.  I’m talking about true love.  Love that accepts us the way we are – baggage and all.  Love that we pour out on someone – with their baggage and all.  Sacrificial love.

Sacrificial love.  It comes it many shapes and sizes.  Currently mine is for the two little girls that I care for.  The daughters of my youngest child.  Is caring for them inconvenient – yes – not all the time.  Is it hard physically – sometimes.  Am I tired – yes.    Could I be doing something else for myself and maybe even making money doing it – yes.

But that love.  That look from their eyes into yours.  It goes very deep into my heart.  It is a love I have longed for and a love I have longed to give.  That love they dish out on you even though you are way older.  It’s a love that they feel secure in when mom and dad drop them off.  They feel safe, they feel at home.

I’ve had thoughts lately of when the kids graduate from the university and find jobs, who knows where, and they will move and begin a new chapter.  Where do I and my husband fit in?  I’ve even thought of hardening my heart, laying brick after brick to my wall that is ever so tempting to build,,,,,, why?  So I won’t get hurt when they say goodbye.  So my heart does’t break in a million pieces when they don’t need me anymore.

Then, like the slowly rising of the sunlight on my window, I realize I can’t live without the love they give me and the love I have for them.  So, we will do our best to follow them and care for them until…. until …. until they have to care for us – Hahahaha.

I’m saying this because the love I have for the grand girls, and for the grand boys we had to leave back east, is stronger and ever growing.  I never want to build the wall of protection over my heart because, no matter how convincing we are in our heads, that heart wants the love.  And with great love can come great hurt, BUT when we surrender to love it comes around to great love again.  Love doesn’t go away.  Love works to heal, to stand, to hold  and to continue.  Love never fails.  Love is truth.

And, Dear Readers, love originated in God.  His heart is so big and so loving and so merciful.  He has taught me to lay down the bricks and let His love come to me.  And that is how, and only how I can give true love to my self, my husband and my kids and their kids and to friends and strangers.   And most of all the only way I can love my God.

Let Love in today and everyday.

Enjoy!

cate b

It’s Summertime!!! – My Memories of The Jersey Shore

I decided to take you all on a journey of my summer adventures and memories from an older gal who was born in the early 1950’s.  Are you ready?

I was born in the northern part of New Jersey, USA to two parents and an older brother by three years.  I do not remember that town or house because we moved when I was toddling to what Jersey-ites refer to as – The Shore.

We moved into a starter neighborhood – small and simple ranch style homes for those just starting out in the world of home ownership.  I wonder if my mom thought she would spend the rest of her life in that home and neighborhood.

It was a great place to grow up.  Neighbors were friendly and life was simple.  Unfortunately for us, we experienced a tragedy when I was four-ish.  My dad had been ill and passed away that summer.  The photos I have prior to his death were all smiles and good times.  After, such sad faces.  It was hard on my brothers and I (we had a little brother after moving to this home, four years younger than me) and of course, my mom.  She found herself widowed very young and with three children and no close family near by.

But prior to the sadness, summers were awesome.  As I said before, I was quite young and memories of the beginnings of this new neighborhood were by photos and some in my own head.  I remember everyone talking about a mustard colored house.  French’s color of mustard.  It was closer to the shore and I know we had a small boat that we would take out crabbing while staying in that little house.  I do remember being clothed in a life jacket and sitting in the boat with a basket or two and being told to, “Wave to the mustard colored house” as we sped by.  I remember bringing crabs back and mom having a pot of water hot and ready to toss them in. Yum

Life went on.  Summer time meant that my older brother and I got to go across the street and slip into the woods behind our friend’s house.  The Woods! Oh how I loved to play there.  There was a creek that meandered through and was shallow enough to wade in the cool clear waters.  I remember trails and trees that became my home away from home.  I remember going through to the other side and coming out in tall grass that was named – “The Parkway Grass”.  It got it’s name because it ran along a small hill aside the Garden State Parkway (a toll road that ran the length of New Jersey).  There we could sit in the grass and not be seen.  There we could run and trip on a rock that was actually a box turtle that we always took home to feed and cared for.  Poor turtles.

I can still clearly picture The Woods in my mind.  One of the best things about it was that we rarely ran into another person.  I remember only once seeing a man walking on our trails in our Woods!  My mom had no reason to worry about us being in there all day.  Year after year.  We came running when we heard her clapping her hands for us to come home.

So, this weekend is known as Memorial Day Weekend.  Memorial Day falls on Monday – always the last full weekend in May.  It is a day to honor and remember those who served and are serving in our Armed Forces.  But it also marks the official opening of SUMMER!  Pools open, beaches open, sales happen!  Barbecues are fired up.  Ahh.  Summer.

Once I started school my life revolved around summer vacations.  We were out of school from sometime in June until early September.  Beach time, woods time, baseball in the backyard and cookouts and s’mores!

As I grew and became a parent, again my year schedule revolved around summer vacation.  Four kids later and then some in college – summer vacation. Living in a tourist, beach town – summer vacation.  And now, watching grand daughters while parents go to University – summer vacation!  I love it.

I will end this segment here.  Next time I want to talk about the traditions of dress codes drilled into my northeastern upbringing that took me a very long time to break.

Until then, enjoy your first weekend of summer.  And PLEASE do remember our servicemen and women, those before and those now.  I am grateful to them for protecting our nation and serving us and sacrificing so well.

Here is my mom and my brother and me – the cute little one – on the beach prior to our move there.

Beach Time
Beach Time

Enjoy!

cate b

 

%d bloggers like this: