Tag: tragedy

It’s Time To Get Busy

I checked back into my past posts looking for this one: I’m Writing a Book.  Turns out I wrote it and posted it in 2010.  Say what?  Where does the time go?

I had every intention of publishing by now, but I also have intentions of procrastination.  Yup, I do.

I see so many writers whip out books and publish them quickly.  Look, I’m not opposed to publishing or writing many books.  However, seeing so many do the self publishing caused me to step back and look at my motives.  For me, I tend to want to be noticed.  To “be somebody”.  So, rather than join the crowd of self publishers, I tend to weigh it out way too long.  In some ways that is bad because it gives me a lot of time to talk myself out of it.  On the other hand, it gives me more time to reevaluate my motives and intentions and evaluate the subject of my book.

That being said, I almost ditched the whole project.  The intention of the book was a topic that is in abundance out there in the reading world.  So who am I to add to a plethora of a certain subject?

The Beauty of Waiting……. I had an epiphany the other day.  I knew, without a doubt, I needed to change the direction of my book. I didn’t just want to dump into print my tragic story.  It was and is tragic in some ways.  But I find that when people know of our tragedy it hinders them knowing the real us or me.  They already form a picture of our family based on what we had to go through.  Some even take it on as their own grief and I, the griever, resent that.  It’s mine, not yours.

So, I am working now on changing our life-changing-experience to one of hope and love.  That way the reader can see how one person (or one family) made it through and continues on.  How life’s disappointments, however big or small, can change us and cause us to be a deeper soul.  A regular human being gleaning all they can out of life’s journey.

I may sound a bit mysterious.  I do that on purpose because I want you to buy the book.  Of course I do.

So stay tuned for the release of Butterfly Tattoo.

I am wishing you all well on your writing journeys, whether it be your blog, your articles or your books.  We all have a story to tell.

Enjoy!

cate b

 

 

Another Year

Here we are on September 11, 2014.  Many seasons have come and gone since the day our nation was hit with an unforgettable attack.

The seasons come and go and life goes on for most of us.  But you cannot erase totally the memories of days that broke hearts and minds and lives.

I still vividly remember the day our President Kennedy was assassinated.  These tragedies impact us humans in deep ways.  And we all have different experiences.  Some were involved first hand in the September eleven attacks.  Some knew someone who……..  Some were detached because of their own personal hard times at that moment.  Some were in a foreign land when their homeland was attacked.

No matter where you were or what you were doing, it still affected you.  Simply because it affected our nation; the world.

Hope seems to be trending right now.  I really do hope it continues that way.  But Hope, true hope, is not a wish for something.  I hope for ice cream some days. I hope for good weather and great health.  But those are more wishes. Nothing wrong with wishes.  I have many of those.

Hope has to be deeper or when times come that require a saving, a need for a lifeline, a wish just isn’t enough.

This day, as many of you reflect loss and tragedy or current disasters and upheavals, take time to reflect on what Hope really is.  Where does your Hope lie?  Is it anchored to a source that will truly save you – get you through the tough and heart breaking times – anchored to a lifeline that cannot be broken?

True Hope is a promise……

Hebrews 6:19The Message (MSG)

18-20 We who have run for our very lives to God have every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go. It’s an unbreakable spiritual lifeline, reaching past all appearances right to the very presence of God where Jesus, running on ahead of us, has taken up his permanent post as high priest for us, in the order of Melchizedek.

My prayers are for our nation and for our world that we find true Hope.  That we remember those that are hurting and those that are facing great hardships.

HOPE
HOPE

cate b

The Bruises of Life

Another tragedy for America – The Boston Marathon Bombings.  With each disaster that hits our nation comes a twinge of pain, as in an old wound that acts up from time to time.  When we experienced first hand a great loss in our family (see Prisoner of Hope series on this blog) it brought a wound that will never totally heal.  I’m not even sure that is the right phrasing – I feel I’ve healed in the sense that I got through the initial shock and severe blow of loss – but the pain of loss will always be there.  It will pop up when I hear of others pains and loss.  It acts up much like arthritis or other similar ailments due to weather change, etc.  But much harder.  With each new attack of disaster or missing children or even forecasts of severe storms, the pain twinges.

But know that with each twinge it does a good thing deep down inside of me.  I’ll try to put it into words.  I think that those who understand these words will get this and those who don’t quite, but almost, it will cause you to look deeper within.  These twinges bring to me a strong desire for fellow human beings.  We are all vulnerable to hard times, to disasters, etc.  No one is exempt from hard times.  No one.  So my heart aches and hurts for those who are hit – in any shape or form – from bullying to misunderstandings to loss and devastation.

My heart goes out to Boston and all those who attended that Marathon.  It was a day that represents great victory for all who trained and ran – and turned into such a low blow – such heart ache.

My heart goes out to those who can’t grasp this.  I saw some FB posts that implied that this is daily occurrence in other nations – so we should think more of them.  I understand that.  But here in the USA it is not a daily occurences.  It is not part of our daily lives.  My heart aches for those nations who do live this way in fear, I want that to change for them.  But I also want America to rise up and unite and stand on our roots.  I want us to want violence to stop.  I don’t know if this is realistic or not.  But THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE.  ALWAYS.

I pray for our law and government safety enforcement and medical teams to be safe and to have wisdom to thwart these plots in advance.  I pray for all who attended that fear would not become a part of their lives and I pray for those who lost that healing would come and they would become stronger through such loss. and able to help others.

God bless,

cate b.

Prisoner of Hope – Our Darkest Day

Part 1 …….

I am about to bring to you, Reader, a personal account of great loss to me and my family.  I will open to you an experience of great loss and grief and, at the same time, great victory and triumph and peace for us.  I hope that you can glean from our hurt and loss to apply to yours or to help someone you love.

In January of 2005 I worked in a small town Police Department on the East Coast of the United States.  It was a normal day in my life – went to work, I knew at four o’clock I would drive home and feed the dogs and myself (my husband worked evenings so I wouldn’t see him until very late) and just relax with the TV or a book.

Our children were all adults by this time.  One married and living about 4 miles away from us.  Our daughter on the West Coast and  a son in China studying Mandarin and the youngest living in the Mid-West.  It was a bit lonely since we were a close family but communicated by phone regularly and saw the oldest often with his wife and our grandsons.

In the afternoon, while still at work, I felt a strong desire to call my daughter and see if all was OK.  I had seen on CNN that there were heavy rains in Southern California and that always meant possible mud-slides.  I called her and she said everyone was home in the small community of LaConchita due to mud on the main freeway.  That was pretty normal there in the winter months.  She sounded a bit afraid.  She told me there were reports of possible tornados and I asked if she was near a hill.  She said she was fine there and we told each other, “I love you”.

Those were the last words I heard our only daughter say to me.  My heart broke that day.

She, along with 9 others perished as the hillside broke free and covered several homes and streets.  A mother and her three young daughters perished next door while their dad went for ice cream.  It was a heartbreaking day in La Conchita that January 10th, 2005.  And a heartbreaking day for our family.

Being on the east coast was difficult.  I received a phone call from a friend that told me what happened and at the time all they knew was that my daughter was missing.  I immediately called my husband and he came home from work so we could pray and wait.  We had to call our sons.  We called Jonathan, who lived the closet and our youngest, Kirk, who was in Missouri.  We decided to wait to call Matthias who was in Shanghai, China until we knew the outcome.

That night was the longest night of out lives.  Waiting is hard on a normal basis.  But to be waiting the outcome of a tragic situation is pure hell.  We are a God-fearing family with a personal relationship with our God and Savior, Jesus Christ.  We try our best to trust and depend on Him to guide and carry us through life.  We are human.  We lack trust often and lack faith often.  But one thing I can say that was proven that dark day in January of 2005 is that we have a Hope in God that is anchored deep.  Meaning that when the clouds crash down on you and all looks dark – we saw an anchor fastened deep that would carry us all through this dark, hurtful time.

…………… to be continued ………….

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